One part of me wanted to play around with the idea of giving up all diets.
Play around with the idea that my body could be trusted. That I could be trusted.
But I believed I was wired wrong and always hungry…..and I had a lifetime of evidence that appeared to back that up
Maybe it was possible, though, that all of that came AFTER I was born rather than being INBORN as part of me.
How it came ‘after’ didn’t seem to exactly matter. Years of psychoanalysis had proven interesting but not especially useful.
But the curious idea that I…
ME…
My body…… was not born wired wrong, faulty or messed up. What if it was true?
What if I had simply developed a lot of thought around food, eating, weight and body image over the years that ended up manifesting as the experience I had been living for decades?
I had no real belief that it would work. But when you’ve done it all and you’ve essentially given up anyway….why not give it a whirl?
So I played around with the notion that there are no rules.
NONE AT ALL
Not society’s rules. Diet rules. Judgements of any kind. No right or wrong.
It’s hard to sort of lean into that way of being when a swirl of rules and judgements have already been living in your head for decades.
But it’s interesting to not take it too seriously. To just get curious with the concept. To play around with it and see how it goes.
It means you can really do anything with food and it’s never right or wrong.
And if you have no rules at all then that actually applies to following diets as well doesn’t it?
After all, diets are just a way you are choosing to eat. And if there are no rules about what you can and can’t do then that means if you choose to follow a diet plan…you can.
If there are no rules but you choose to make your own and follow them then that has to be ok too right?
As long as you know there are no REAL rules. They were just made up by you. And whether you actually choose to follow them or not is only being determined by you and no one else.
So you can’t actually break the rules or fail. Not when the rules are not even real to begin with.
Even if you have lots of ideas about what people think or what society thinks.
Even THEN the rules are just in your mind. And only if you choose to follow them.
There is no judge. There is no jury.
