MBL's Best Of The Web

Postpartum Depression is Real! - Video of the Day

Post Partum
Updated: December 5, 2020
Posted In: Best Of The Web

Editor's Note

In our extended family, we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of 3 babies. YIPPEE! Although it's been 15 years since I birthed our son (I will spare you the details) I still get giddy over the miracle of life. It is a rare and beautiful thing. Oh! not the pain, the mess and the fear, but all of the pure joy and bliss that a newborn baby brings. Pregnant and new moms always stir up in me, my deep, innate desire to be a mother. It was the only thing I wanted to accomplish in life. I knew I would never bring about World Peace, win a Nobel Prize or climb Mount Everest, but I wanted to famous for raising a kind, loving, productive human in this world. My claim to fame. 

Whatever route you plan to take to childbirth, it sometimes get derailed by timing, the baby and even the doctor. My DH packed, aromatherapy, hot massage balls, mints for him, peppermint for me, and lotion. I'd planned to sit on a ball, take a shower and relax. NOPE! We used nothing! The most comforting thing he brought was the music. The soft, distinctive, flowing music and trance like singing of ENYA. It is rarely what you expect the first time, yet beautiful and emotional. 

One thing I didn't think I would experience is postpartum depression. But I did. I was fully aware of what was happening, but had no control to stop it. It showed up as intense weeping and feelings of impending doom followed by joy and happiness. I could feel it coming on and it dissipated as quickly as it appeared. I described it like " a rollercoaster of emotion". I knew it was just my hormones freaking out after the baby was born. Fortunately, I had these intense episodes only about a couple of weeks. WHEW! But many women experience far worse postpartum depression and for longer periods of time. POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION IS REAL!!!!! If you experience it, you are not alone and you are not to blame. Call a family member or a friend, even a neighbor. 

Also you can contact the Postpartum Support International 

Call or Text our HelpLine
PSI is here to help. You will get better.
Call 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD)
English and Spanish
Text a Message: 503-894-9453(English) or 971-420-0294 (Spanish)

Available 24 hours a day, you will be asked to leave a confidential message and a trained and caring volunteer will return your call or text. They will listen, answer questions, offer encouragement and connect you with local resources as needed.

Paula Henry - MBL Founder


Video Description

Hi guysssss!! Hope I answered all of your guys’ questions! Can’t wait to start filming more with Baby E! Love you guys!

See you in my next bideoooo.

WATCH MY LABOR & DELIVERY VIDEO! https://youtu.be/P7myAwvsDVo

Snapchat elsyelizabeth.

Video Transcription:

Hey guys, welcome back to my channel. I have been dying to film this specific video because I know you guys had a lot of questions about even bursts about postpartum and a budget, a mommy stuff, because now I can finally relate to a lot of moms, especially because I’m a first time mommy and a gas can see I’m inside the baby’s nursery right now. And the only reason why I do not care about showing you guys like part of her room is because I’ve already shown you guys for wallpapers. So, yeah.

Yeah, but isn’t it so cute. Her theme is

The wallpaper has secure unicorns and liquids, boobs, and castles and all that. I am going to be filming a nursery tour video soon. I am just waiting for

Couple more things to come in, but if you guys

You’re new to this channel, hi, my name’s Elsie. I give away $100 and every single one of my videos I just have to do is just comment like, and subscribe also, don’t forget to come and down and cash up. So I did mention it in my last video that I’m going to be answering questions that you guys have. And I did actually, I was on Instagram to ask me a bunch of questions. And you guys asked me a really good question. So I’ve been kind of excited to film this video because it almost feels like I just need to vent. And it feels like I have a bunch of friends now, since a lot of you guys can relate and hopefully it does help some of you guys, or hopefully it is informative to some of you guys, but I am going to speak to you guys on what I experienced and I’m going to be like 100% honest with you guys.

So to start off with, I did get a question where someone asked me how far were my contractions and how did I know where to go to the hospital? And also there’s any way that you can speed up the process too Gifford or to dilate more. But like I said, I am going to be very, very honest with you guys. I am going to tell you guys how it started from the beginning, because if you guys didn’t watch me in previous videos, you guys know that he and I were staying at a hotel because the hospital was super far away from our place. And I was already forced in a minute stagnated when we decided to go to the hotel and we just wanted to be safe and just be near the hospital, just in case my water broke. So we did a sale at a hotel for, I want to say almost a week.

It was five days, but the only reason why we decided to go to the hospital Saturday morning, it was looking around three ish. I don’t know what time it was was because at my doctor’s office, they recommended a bunch of things where you can speed up, getting diluted more quicker and sex was one of them. So I’m really hoping no one, your age girls are watching this, this video because I don’t want you to get his parents to commend me. Me for the bit that I’m about to say so, but he and I actually decided to do that. And then after the sex happened, we decided to go there. The hospital, when we got there, I was actually six centimeters as it is. So if you guys are wondering if sex works, yes, it does work because I was four and I ended up going up to six and then that’s when everything happened.

But I am going to just cover all that as I’m answering questions. Cause you guys did excellent questions that relates to that. So the very first question that I am going to is how long was I in labor before? Okay. So if we got there around four o’clock when we showed up [inaudible] they did use the Pitocin. I think I’m maybe saying it wrong. It’s the medication that, that does help you dilate more, but it wasn’t working for me. So I woke up, it was new. It was like 12 in the afternoon and I was still six centimeters dilated. So the Pitocin, I told them, I think I’m hearing you say to row. I think I am seeing it wrong. It’s a potassium. Partism pinata autism. I don’t pick it up since I was still 16 minutes daily. My, my doctor actually decided to break my water and it was, it was around like one, one when he decided to break my water.

And let me tell you guys once he broke my water, I kid you not, I want to say like 10 minutes later, my contractions started like this and they were extremely, extremely painful. And then this is when the next question comes is from one to 10. How bad were the contractions? I really don’t want to scare people who are about to go to labor, but I am going to say it was like 15 and this is with my pain tolerance. I honestly think I do have a high pain tolerance and I still think it was like a fist. It was just super, super, super. Oh, okay. I honestly did not expect for contractions to feel like that. I, I honestly thought they were going to be a lot less painful. I don’t know why he thought they weren’t going to be that way. But, uh, but I was wrong because goddamn contractions were such a and then this is where the next question comes.

Why did I decide not to get the pain medication, which is the epidural? So I had been seeing my entire pregnancy that I really, really want to go naturally. That was my goal. I wanted to go to the hospital and do a naturally like that. I already had my mind set that I wanted to do it naturally. However, when my contractions were starting, I want to say when I was like 20 minutes in, after he broke my water, I was asking for the epidural, the contractions were who too painful that I was just saying, no, I can not. It honestly feels like you’re getting stabbed in your uterus, but probably the pain was 10 times. Whereas I don’t, I don’t even know how to explain the pain. The pain was just so bad that the entire time my contractions were going up, I was just kicking my feet.

Like, I don’t know what to do. Like I was just so uncomfortable. Like literally follow you just wanted to get a knife and just go. It was just that bad. Like I, and I know that sounds so scary, but I’m just saying from my experience like, like, I didn’t know what to do. They just felt like I was going crazy for like, I wasn’t like in a mental institution and I wanted to kill people and that’s how painful it was. And my goal to go in naturally just went out the window. I was just like, screw this. I do not care. This is my body. This is how I feel right now. This is how much pain I’m in right now. But I am going to say this. I got super, super lucky that baby girl, she wanted to come really, really fast because I felt like I needed to take a big [inaudible] dome, but it was around 2:00 PM.

But, and this is where the next question comes. Like how long was I pushing for us? I, wasn’t not pushing for that long. I want to say I was pushing for half an hour. I thought it was 10 minutes. I swore it was like 10 minutes. But I’m guessing I was in that much pain that I just lost track of time. And this is when the next question comes. You guys asked me if I boobood on myself and no, I did not. Surprisingly, I did not. But let me tell you guys, when you guys are in that much pain, you do not give up. You do not care. Like even if I did share me stuff, I wouldn’t care. I probably would have been like, I just had a shitty baby and I do not care right now because I’m in so much

Pain. And then the next question that I,

I did read a lot was was I embarrassed if the nurses and he saw my whole vagina and no, I was not. Cause like I said, when you either in that much pain, you don’t care about anything. Like I could have been on Instagram, live show you guys my vagina. And I wouldn’t have cared because I wasn’t so much pain. And then another question that you guys did ask me worse if I tared and if I had to get stitched down there and I did tear, but I do not know how much. Cause I didn’t ask my OB when he was stitching me, but I know that I did get stitches and I’m not that mad about it because he didn’t mention that he put extra stitches that day.

So technically I’m a Virgin again. And it’s like down there. So I do,

No, I don’t mind at all. I know a lot of people were worried because they think they’re having a baby naturally. Like it messes up your vagina, but I basically just had to research to get it tighter. So yeah, I did get a question where, um, someone asked me if sex feels the same after getting stitches or after giving an actual birth because a lot of people do think that like your whole down there just gets super loose and it just gets super big, which is not the case at all. But after you give birth, you do have to wait six weeks to do anything, go inside it, hot to go in the pool. You can’t work out, you can’t have set. So, so that’s my answer. Um, I have not had sex because you can not have sex because you could either tear it or you could just catch an infection.

It’s not sanitary and it’s not safe because you do need to give your kitty time to heal. You can’t lift any heavy objects. We have asked my answer. I have not had sex, but I’m not going to lie. I’m kinda excited to know how it feels, especially now, since it’s tighter down there. And if this is too much information, I’m so sorry you guys, but I told you days that I was going to be 100% honest with you guys. And at the end of the day, I’m a mom now. So I can’t be acting childish.

Like I’m talking, being six.

I mean like obviously everyone knows that I busted open because I had a kid.

So that’s that? And then yeah,

This is mommy Tassa hopeless. Just girls talking to me right now. We are having a girl talk. We are having a mommy talk. We are talking about what actually happens with mommies and our pity and all that crazy stuff. And I am will post screenshots of things that I’ve been using to help Mike heal because you do really need to take care of it. And then another question about our kidneys down there, you guys were asking me like how painful it is. If I was able to sit, if I was able to walk surprisingly, I was walking pretty normal. It didn’t hurt that bad. And it hurts so bad to sit on, especially when I would breastfeed her, like on the bed. Um, Oh my God, it would hurt so, so bad. But I was using a lot of ice packs to kind of numb it.

It helped a little, but then again, the ice packs were so thick. I just felt like I had a breakdown there. I feel like postpartum is very, very uncomfortable and painful, but it’s just one of the processes that we have to go through after giving birth. So we just kind of have to deal with it. And I always tell myself that the pain is just temporary. That recovering is just temporary and it hasn’t been that bad. I’m not what do you guys, I honestly thought that after giving birth, like it wasn’t, I feel like I just had to make a huge surgery, but no, it wasn’t that bad. I want to see the pain level for my kitty down there afterwards was like a, who’s like a six. It wasn’t that bad. However, it was like a 10 with the uncomfortableness. I don’t know if that’s a word, but yes.

When you get up, when you’re walking, it almost feels like you could have a data waist like a hundred pounds, but I haven’t had my six week appointment and just yet. So I’m hoping and praying that I took care of it. Pretty good. And it’s healing pretty good. So the next question was, now that I experienced giving birth, if I want more kids, that’s been, anybody’s asked me that I’m because I kid you not right after I gave birth. I told you I do not want any more kids. I was just like, no, thank you. Alone is good. We’re set. And she’s the only one we need after experiencing this. I do not want any more kids, but then again, I was speaking emotionally. I was speaking on how I felt right there. And then, but I don’t know if I want any more kids.

And the only reason why I say that is because since I did have my first born naturally, that’s how I would want all of my labors to go. I do not want to get the pain medication. And I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that. Like I know I shouldn’t be talking myself down. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but I really don’t want to get the pain medication. And I’m not saying it’s bad to get it. I personally did not want to get it. Honestly. I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m just because it was really, really painful. And I do not want to get any pain medication if I just say to have more kids, I don’t know if I can do that and then letting it, I’m not going to be a tough question, Blake, you know what? You know what?

I got this because I did not get it. No, thank you. I’m I’m just all traumatized. And I don’t know if it’s because it’s still fresh, but I’m holding off on kids right now. Another reason why you see that is because I do want to enjoy my baby. When she’s a newborn, we didn’t want to enjoy the baby here. I do really want to focus all my attention on her. So no, as of right now, I do not want any more kids. So the next question was, if I got stretch marks, I did not get stretch marks. I am going to put a screenshot of what I use to avoid stretchmarks. But this claim where I’m telling you guys this right now, I am not promoting that this product avoids from you guys getting stretch marks because you guys do have to keep in mind the stretch marks.

It does come from genetics. And I did read an article where a doctor said that you guys can put a hundred yeah. Of different oils to avoid stretch burners, like Coca butter. You guys can put anything extra. I stated in my, you guys can put literally anything. And if your family just happens to have a student in three years, cause stretch marks. So you will eventually get stretch marks. So I do want to say that everyone is different and also my body type. So you just have to keep in mind that I am time by eight and I have a really long torso. So basically I had a lot of room for the baby to grow. And not only that she was tiny. So I feel like that helped me a lot on why my stomach didn’t really stretch as much and why didn’t really gain that much weight.

So yes, it is perfectly fine. Maybe these stretch marks search warrant. Cause it’s not a huge deal. I have stripped from all my books. I have stretch marks on my hips, on my inner thighs. Like I don’t know a single girl that does not have stretch marks. Even guys have stretch marks. Like that’s perfectly fine. At the end of the day, you guys pushed out a human being and then, and that’s all that matters. And the next question was, did you lose hair after giving it in birth? I haven’t seen a change with me here, but I also do think it’s because I’m still taking my prenatals. I know that has a lot to do with loss of hair. After giving birth. I have heard that you guys stopped taking your prenatals. You guys are going to see a huge difference with your hair and I’m still taking my prenatals.

And these are the prenatals that am taking ’em to the picture and just put it somewhere right here for you guys. And the next question that you guys asked me was if I had postpartum depression. So I am going to say yes, because I want to say the first two weeks. And I think that’s why I haven’t really been active on social media or I haven’t really been on YouTube because I haven’t given myself time to actually realize that I was going through postpartum depression and I just needed time to just release all of that. But I do think what has helped me with just having like a good support system around me, a good partner. Do you have to keep telling yourself it’s normal? It’s fine. My fault we go through it. I would say to try not to avoid it and just actually let yourself feel it as you can release it.

And as the days go by, I promise you guys are going to get better. Cause I want to see the first two weeks after giving birth was the worst. It was just hectic. And now that she’s in love, everything has been so good. So when people say that the first two weeks are the hardest they are absolutely. Right. And the next question was, did I keep my placenta? Um, I did not. To be honest, I really did not do research on my placenta. Maybe I should just, but maybe that’s just a rooky mistake. I didn’t do research on, on why people wipe, keep it on the benefits of keeping it. And speaking about the placenta you guys did also ask me, did it put you out the placenta, her to threat has given birth to baby? I don’t think it was that painful. Um, I do remember my, my OB warning me.

He just like pressed my stomach with super hard and that’s what I felt the placenta will come out, but I don’t think it hurt that bad. And the next question was, did it’s a hospital provide a special water to put down there for when you go pee. So the hospital, they do provide you pretty much everything that you need. Like I bought everything for postpartum. I do recommend that you guys still go buy it because they don’t give you guys a lot of it. And the next question was, was I required to take a Covid testing? Yes. I’m pretty sure every single hospital is going to make you take a Covid test before you give birth to avoid passing it onto your baby. So yes, it’s definitely a requirement for you to take covid testing. And I know this video is hell along already, but the next question was, what did you use for me from your hospital bag?

Um, or you don’t really use a lot. I did overpass, but it’s better to have a pack than to unpack, but you don’t want to use like, maybe just like the first alpha, then you’re going to take the baby in your postpartum essentials. Don’t need bottles unless you’re planning on giving the baby formula right away. But if you’re putting on breastfeeding her, you don’t need bottles. We didn’t really use love. We just use her first outfit, my stuff, your personal hygiene stuff. And I think that’s pretty much it. Um, we use the Swatow maybe like a blanket. You shouldn’t really worry about taking too much though because the hospital provides literally everything. So that helps a lot. And the next question was, are you planning to work out or are you okay with my mom? But um, yes, I do plan on working out, but I’ll, I cannot work out until I get the green light after my six week appointment. And I want to say that. Yeah, I am okay with my mom, but a difference that I did see was with my, that the us, my boobs did get hello. Hello, saggy. Even with implants in pen, sooner CV with that, my boobs just look so weird now because my implants are like right here, you could see the shape of my implants and then they go, boom. So my boobs look correct.

Very wavy, weird.

And I’m okay with it right now. Do I plan on getting surgery? My boobs, yes, because I do want a reduction. I do want smaller implants, but I’ve been wanting smaller implants. I was going to get the surgery before I found out I was pregnant and I am okay with my stomach right now. I’m just angry about everything with my body. Um, I’m not in a rush to change anything right now, right now. I’m just focusing on taking care of and, and that’s pretty much it. And then the next questions that you guys did ask me and I have been, uh, you guys on Snapchat about it is how is my verse pumping? How is my milk supply going? So This is where my heart just breaks up because

Unfortunately my

Milk supply, I know I’ve been opening. You guys Snapchat that, Oh yeah. That has been coming in. That it’s been leaving the different communion. So unfortunately my milk supply has been coming in extremely slow. I think slower than what I last updated. You guys on Snapchat that a baby is officially on formula. So I did have to switch her over to formula and breast milk. She is doing both. I am nursing her. So I’m doing all three right now. I’m nursing her. I am pumping and I am giving her formula. I have not switched her over 100% to formula. Just leave just yet. Cause I’m going to give it up on my breast milk. I’m so doing whatever I can, I’m still eating oatmeal. I’m still drinking, whatever T’s I have to drink. I’m just doing everything all at once. To be honest I’m so even those Gotham cookie, honestly, don’t help.

But in my head, I’m just like, please just give me one drop of breast milk. I’m still nervous in here. I still pumped. I pumped earlier and I was only able to get three ounces before I filmed this. That’s just what life has come to. And I honestly think that my milk supply reduced a lot because I had to stressing out that I can produce. Cause I know if you stress out that has a lot to do with your milk supply, but um, I still have more coming in. I have not dried out completely, which I’m happy about. Cause I’m still able to give her breast milk and I’m gonna just continue to give her breast milk into my milk, completely dry. And it’s perfectly fine because I know people say fed is best. As long as the baby’s eating. That’s fine. I keep trying to tell myself that as long as my baby is being fed, that’s all that matters. And I’m assuming people that don’t breastfeed at all, but my personal goals were to breastfeed her and then switch over to form a completely, I wanted to breastfeed her for at least six months. But my titty said, bitch, you thought, but yeah. Did you guys so much for watching? I know this video was super freaking mound, but hopefully I did pretty much cover everything. Okay.

Yeah. Thank you guys so much for watching.

Don’t forget to enter the giveaway. Are you going to do is comments like describe and calm down your cash app? Since we’re talking about moms and vaginas and babies, I do want to pick a mommy for this giveaway. So just coming down, whatever, calming down your baby’s name, coming down with help you to speed up your process has coming down with every second. Know that your mom was catch-up second. Pick one of you guys to win. Hopefully in my next video, it is the nursery. So I’m going to show you guys everything cause it’s so cute. Um, but yeah, I’ll see.

And then my next fear is putting your cheetah down there now it’s pretty. Oh, I can’t even see you. She’s looking at me like who the fuck is this bitch? Why not? I shouldn’t be cursing. You showcase. Oh, I know. So

Was in the process of eating my grafter.


So she was in the process of eating and I just grabbed her

I’m sure, sure. You’ve been telling me you’re one month, right? Yeah. How’d I look like among guys,

But when I found out I was pregnant, I was, I was like, I cannot picture myself as a mom and always pitched myself like the single fun PR little did I know I was wrong? Yeah.

Elisa. I have my own little push into all your home. Little bad girl. Oh, she’s so cute. She’s getting so big. It makes me so sad.

She’s just the cutest to Google everything.

Let me get that. Okay.

I think everything babies do is Securitas being ever. You just want to like, even when she cries, like not to be me, I kind of laugh. Yeah.

Cause it’s just so cute.

Except what she’s like started crying. But when she cries, she yells [inaudible] and that she wants you to food right away. It’s so cute.

You know, when you can bet you, the little girl you drink your whole bottle, you said your body issue issue. Can you, um, where you were teaching? I could give you teaching kit each toolkit

More quickly burp her off camera. And have you Rebecca, since she just turned a month, I was thinking to her, I was like one tap for the day,

Two times for the 50. She was like, I’m just kidding.

[inaudible] so chunky. Little bit. I just love everything and love her w

And love her little skin is knowledge and showing me she showed you. I love her button nose in the middle ears. I read everything. I live here. The mouth show. Cute. It’s so cute. I want her to stay this small forever food. I don’t want her to grow.

I feel like since I have such a very soft voice and I talk very, very low, um, it’s perfect for me to be a mom because I don’t have to worry about waking up the baby. She’s like smiling.

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