Weight Loss Confidence, Loose Skin, Swimsuits & Dating

Hi. So I am in my new office. I put this together. It’s just an extra bedroom in my house that I wasn’t sure using. And I thought it would be best. I just have a space where I came and did my work and my editing. I have all my old artwork in here. And then I have all these postcards from when I was active duty Navy. So these are some of the countries I’ve been to. And then I’m also going to have a, another Pinboard where I put up all the letters that you guys have ever sent me. And yeah, that’ll just be like so nice to look at and encouraging for me to just keep pushing, speaking of staying inspired and continuing to push I’m going to talk about something that happened to me. And it was unexpected. I thought that I had the confidence to not let something like that affect me, but it did.

And I had a little cry Fest for a few days. Um, but now we were past it. Thank goodness. And yeah, I just wanted to go over it with you all because maybe you guys have been through something similar. And if not, maybe you’ll just enjoy this little Storytime, the last video that I was trying to upload, and it wouldn’t work. It still hasn’t worked. I’m going to try to edit this video using final cut pro instead of eye movie to see if that helps. But basically I was trying to show you guys a video of this bathing suit that I had that was going to help make me feel more confident to go to the beach. Because I had a date with a guy at the beach. I had made this video like right after that date, I think it was like that next day.

And I thought that the date had went really well. And I thought like, I killed it with that bathing suit in my body confidence. So because that video wouldn’t post some days passed and there was actually a different outcome of what happened with that guy. He never contacted me again. And I even wrote him like, okay, guess I haven’t heard from you yet. Yes. You’re not interested in me. Like, it’s cool. Like, it would be nice for them to just say that, like, it’s not a big deal. Like I’m a big girl. I can handle it because the more I thought about it, the more I was like, you know what, maybe this guy is a lesson to me to learn how to like approach my weight loss a bit differently when it comes to, you know, meeting someone for the first time. So when I was rewatching, the edit that I made of this bathing suit, it looked better in person.

I felt. And then when I watched it on video, I thought, Oh man, like, it makes me look older, looks like I’m trying to cover something up. Um, it’s kind of plain. Like it’s not very cute and girly. It wasn’t really getting my point across as much as I thought. And my point was to be able to wear something that you feel confident in and go to the beach and have a good time. And yes, like this might work, um, to hang out with your friends or go to the beach by yourself and like, feel like nothing is sticking out. But when it comes to going out on a first, second or third day, it does kind of come off a bit insecure. The truth is, is I am like, I am covering up my inner thighs that jiggle and kind of sag. And I am trying to cover up some extra skin on my stomach.

Um, or like my armpits. I’m trying to do my best to, you know, cover up for myself. So I confident, but then also come on, not insecure on dates or just out in public in general. All right. So let’s talk about the lessons that I’ve learned and how I’m going to move forward. And again, this might not be exactly what happened with this guy who just stopped talking to me, you know, because he never said why, as proud as I am about the weight loss. I don’t think it’s necessarily a good idea to talk about that on the first date. Right? So there’s two things there’s talking about my YouTube channel, which obviously is going to lead into weight loss. And then just talking about my weight loss, because that’s going to lead into, well, how much weight have you? I lost, I’m like a hundred pounds weight deal.

He wasn’t a jerk about it, but he was just like, wow, okay. When it came to planning our second date, he’s like, let’s go to the beach. It didn’t hit me at first. That it’s probably because of that. Like he wants to see what my body looks like. And so we went and he’s super fit. I made sure to let him know that fitness is a really big part of my life and that I’m continuing to lose weight. Like I could tell he was a little put off by my suit. I wanted to like assure him that I was confident and that, um, my body has held up pretty well, but that, you know, I still have my problem areas that I’m working on. You know, I did show him my stomach. I thought that it would be helpful for him to see that, you know, I don’t really need to cover it, but I just am like, it’s just like a little bit like fatty there and like loose there, but no big deal.

Like, I don’t know. I just thought being like more transparent would, um, make him feel more at ease about how my body looks, because face it, like when you are dating someone in the beginning, it is all about looks, you know, like the first few dates you just you’re attracted to each other. And then it develops from there right after that date, I didn’t really hear from him much. So that was the only thing I could think of that happened. And I did cry about it. Like, even if you don’t even like the guy, it’s like, you worked so hard to lose this weight so that you can feel comfortable dating and now you still don’t feel comfortable. I know you guys might be like feeling mad at him. Don’t be not really his fault. It’s probably scary to meet someone in here that they’ve lost a hundred pounds.

Maybe you feel like they’re going to gain the weight back or you wonder why they let themselves gain a hundred pounds. Like, are there some underlying issues with like their mental state, you know, so you just start to have like these questions and a lot of people just, they don’t want to deal with it, which is sad, you know? Cause I know I’m a great person. I have a lot of love to give. Um, and I hope that, you know, people can kind of look past that and give me a chance, but the only way that I’m going to be able to give it a chance is to stop talking about it so much in the beginning. So not that I’m trying to hide my weight loss or my YouTube channel, but yeah, I need to learn how to like kind of tone that down a little bit and also like say no to the beach.

You know, if this is a first, second or third date, I don’t think I need to necessarily be in a swimsuit with you so that you can see my body more. Like, I think that’s ridiculous. I would like to really get to know someone maybe for like at least a couple of weeks to a month before, like they need to see me in a bathing suit and I need to just keep things a little bit more private at the beginning. Like I’m not hiding it. Like I said, after like a few weeks to a month of dating, depending on how it’s going, I can then talk about those things, but I need to let the relationship develop first, let them really get to know me who I am first, because then when I talk about the weight loss or my YouTube channel and stuff, you know, it won’t affect the way they feel as much.

It’s worth a try. At least the new schedule for videos is going to be Monday through Friday. So I’m going to continue to do the blogs of what I ate all my workouts. And Monday’s video will be of like the weekend kind of like the weekend as a whole. And then Tuesday’s video will be of what I did Monday. So it’s kind of the same thing I was doing before. So videos Monday through Friday from now on. And that’s it. Thanks for watching guys. And thanks for always being there for me. Love you. And I will see you.

Bye!

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